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Martini Recipe Database at The Martini Diva

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EDIBLE COCKTAILS, CLASSIC COCKTAIL MARTINIS & EVEN JOKE MARTINIS!

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Gin Martinis, Vodka Martinis, Rum Martinis, Tequila Martinis, Whiskey Martinis, Champagne Martinis, Brandy MartinisBrandy Martinis
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Olive three martini jokes, please

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A Cherry of a Martini Joke!

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Lemon Twist of HumorClassic Cocktails as Martinis plus some Classic Martini and Cocktail Quotes
Fruit Martinis, Fruit Flavored Martinis



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A FEW MARTINI & COCKTAIL JOKES
Find more on my Joke Martinis & Martini Jokes Page!


A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.

"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!""What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "His wife sent him out for a jar of olives."




Wife to Husband. "I remember the days when a Quickie Before Dinner did not mean downing a quick martini!"


A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive designer martinis and has the bartender line them up in front of him. Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one.

"Whew," the bartender remarked, "you seem to be in a hurry.""You would be too if you had what I have."

"What do you have?" the bartender sympathetically asked.

"Fifty cents."


A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender to recommend a good drink. The bartender says that their grasshopper martinis are very good, so the man orders one. Then he has another couple.

On the way home he sees a grasshopper on the ground. He says to the grasshopper, "do you know that there is a drink named after you?"

The grasshopper looks up at the man and says "do you mean they have a drink called Irving?"




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